Sunday, July 01, 2007

Royce has now moved into the back bedroom, thank God. it's been a bit of a hard time, these last few weeks. i got a knife on the bedroom door lock and managed to get the paint off so it works, i can lock it at night now. Makes it a bit safer. i just don't know what he might do next, after all the things he said to me. Coming in, throwing things. Spoiling things in the house. What's the point of trying to keep things nice? i keep my room clean, i make my own meals when he's out. It's like a pigsty down there.

I tried to clean it up after he'd pulled everything out of the kitchen cupboard and smashed it, but i cut my hand quite bad on a bit of glass from the sauce bottle, i think it was, and i had to leave it. i should have had stitches really. it's funny, i thought it was tomato sauce.

That night, i mend the lock with one hand, while my other is throbbing through the cloth, and i hear him hammering and sawing in the shed in the yard, like it has been days into the night. i don't care anymore about what he;s doing, i don't care, and i don't care if God doesn't want me to say it, i wish he were dead. i wish he were dead.

that was my monologue. I'm so glad it's long over. honestly, it was the worst time of my life but through this God did another miracle to me again! OK...here goes:
firstly, we have to memo all of that, act the mono in front of 2 judges. you guys must think: ah ya.... fel will have no prob with this. drama queen or something. but it was bad. if it wasn't for God i would never have done well.

the day before the mono exam. i overheard my friends arranging with one of the PS older youths who did trinity too to help with their monos. they just wanted to act their out, so that they could give comments to improve on it. i of course wanted to do so too. decided to meet them at night.

and me being so sociable and stupid asked practically everyone under the sun to come too. the PS ppl that is. they acted out there's, and it was my turn. i freaked out. BIG TIME. it was bad, trust me. the PS ppl saw it. they knew. i couldn't even go past the 2-3rd line. i was pulling my hair, biting my nails, pacing around. (seriously).

to cut the long story short, Sharon leaped to my rescue and went sentence by sentence that night and basically just helped me A LOT. felt much much better.

performed the next day. everything went rather smoothly. scared? of course. my hands were shivering when i was performing la.

got my results, guess what! 9.25/10. insane mark.
this prob sound super superficial but it was totally God's credit. i didn't deserve it, i couldn't have done it if he wasn't there to just rescue me.

fel was shaking her ass at 5:12 AM