Sunday, December 31, 2006

can't believe it the 31st alrdy. it seems like it was jus last week when all the sec4s were mugging for the "o"s. well, time flies when you're having fun. i really liked today's msg at edge today but too bad it was a little late for me. cus i was feeling kind of hopeless a few mths back and if it was preached earlier, i wld definitely go out for altercall. it was so pathetic. two ppl only lor. i was like you mean everyone in the hall is feeling happy? ok....maybe because new yr's coming and most ppl are happy? dunno.

can't believe i will be leaving soon. i was initially very optimistic abt leaving for aust; i really wanted a new beginning. anw, i was really looking forward to aust, but now, i dunno wad i'm feeling. i have mixed feelings abt going to aust. and for so long too! i told my net tt it was probably because i felt tt i cldn't bare to leave you guys. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... ok...i was starting to get cold. can't believe i said tt. i dunno. ever since coming to edge, i been much closer to the youths than before. can't believe i missed out on so much. and it's all thnks to sheryl for pushing me to come to the edge, aud and von for letting me and my sis ride in their car practically every sat w/o any complian and lastly the guitar lessons for practically forcing me to come for edge every week and giving me a great excuse to my parents for coming every week. can't belive i'm leaving when all the fun has jus begun!

i'll miss the food too!!!!! melb food sucks and syney was even worse. chinese food tt is. ahhhhhhhhhh!! i think i'll have to make a list and eat all the good stuff before i leave. tsk.

it's ok....i'm glad i'm leaving too because i know i'll be able to decide for myself what i want to do in my life w/o me having to thinking abt whether my parents will like it a not or whether what should i do because it's simply the right thing to do. alrdy in spore, my parents are deciding and kind of forcing me to do stuff tt i dont want to. eg. my dad insists( and i really mean insist!) tt i must stay with or near my uncle. staying with my uncle is out of the pt cus their hse is really small. there isnt even space to put an extra bed into any rooms in their place and if really want i have to slp in the living rm which very bad, super bad for a girl. and staying near means tt i leave somewhere near their place but live with the eldest daughter and go over to my uncle's place for meals. sounds not too bad right? initially i hated it but aft going over to melb for holi and meeting her, i realised tt she's quite nice. but both of us did't even say more than 50 words to each other the whole time i was there. she's like 21yrs old. going to be difficult. but i cld tell tt she was making an effort to get to know us which was so much better than her bro and sis which hardly came out of their rooms at all. her bro was the worst; didnt come dwn at all! other than one or two "hi"s tt abt all we said. serious. it was tt bad. but i think staying with my cousin is probably out of the qns because till now my uncle hasn't started looking for an apartment near their place yet and it's super hard to get a hse there. according to them, it's because if you find a place too early, you'll have to pay the rent even though you'r not staying there yet. sounds logical but it cld be because of another reason too.... i dunno. the worst and most recent choice is staying with my still single but old aunt which i cant say why but it's just the worst suggestion tt my dad cld ever suggest. all these "great" ideas were thought by him. i was horrified when he asked me to stay with her! cus my aunt was like really really encouraging me to stay with her and i mean really but i cant say why but really it's out of the qns. thnk god for my mum too, she flatly refused and she was also super shocked tt my dad even suggested it.

i'm like why cant i jus stay in the hostel; i'll get closer to my friends since all of them will be foreign students(trinity is for foreign students only), the paperwork wld be so much easier too. i know my dad probably has my interests at heart but staying with my aunt is totally out of the qns! i'm still horrified when i think abt the fact tt my dad suggested it. my aunt is also not the "cute-cute-bake-cookies-and-help-the-children-in-the-church" type hor, for yr info.

tsk. i think i'll miss my crazy net and squashing up in aud's little red car. cant believe i said so much.

fel was shaking her ass at 7:08 AM